Sunday, March 26, 2006
Jokes
Monday:
I decided I was going to cook for my husband Danny. Today, I made an angel food cake. The recipe said to beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
Tuesday:
Danny wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said to serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Danny brought a friend home for supper.
Wednesday:
A good day for rice. The recipe said to wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly, but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.
Thursday:
Today, Danny asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said to prepare the ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Danny asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.
Friday:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said to put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must be something wrong with the recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
Saturday:
Danny did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. For some reason he keeps counting to ten.
Sunday:
We had some people over for dinner. I wanted to serve a roast, but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly, I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY
This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Danny. If I can talk him into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.
by ArcMax(www.arcamax.com)
I decided I was going to cook for my husband Danny. Today, I made an angel food cake. The recipe said to beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
Tuesday:
Danny wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said to serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Danny brought a friend home for supper.
Wednesday:
A good day for rice. The recipe said to wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly, but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.
Thursday:
Today, Danny asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said to prepare the ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Danny asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.
Friday:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said to put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must be something wrong with the recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
Saturday:
Danny did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. For some reason he keeps counting to ten.
Sunday:
We had some people over for dinner. I wanted to serve a roast, but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly, I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY
This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Danny. If I can talk him into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.
by ArcMax(www.arcamax.com)
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Life Lessons...
The story about the tiny frogs….
Life’s lesson
No. 1
There once was a bunch of tiny frogs,...
… who arranged a running competition.
The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.
A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants...
The race began...
Honestly:
No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements such as:
"Oh, WAY too difficult!!
They will NEVER make it to the top."
or:
"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"
The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one...
... Except for those who in a fresh tempo were climbing higher and higher...
The crowd continued to yell
"It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"
More tiny frogs got tired and gave up...
...But ONE continued higher and higher and higher...
This one wouldn’t give up!
At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who after a big effort was the only one who reached the top!
THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?
A contestant asked the tiny frog how the one who succeeded had found the strength to reach the goal?
It turned out...
That the winner was DEAF!!!!
The wisdom of this story is:
Never listen to other people’s tendencies to be
negative or pessimistic...
…cause they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you. The ones you have in your heart!
Always think of the power words have.
Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!
Therefore:
ALWAYS be…
POSITIVE!
And above all:
Be DEAF when people tell YOU that YOU can not fulfil YOUR dreams!
Always think:
I can do this!
Life’s lesson
No. 1
There once was a bunch of tiny frogs,...
… who arranged a running competition.
The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.
A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants...
The race began...
Honestly:
No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements such as:
"Oh, WAY too difficult!!
They will NEVER make it to the top."
or:
"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"
The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one...
... Except for those who in a fresh tempo were climbing higher and higher...
The crowd continued to yell
"It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"
More tiny frogs got tired and gave up...
...But ONE continued higher and higher and higher...
This one wouldn’t give up!
At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who after a big effort was the only one who reached the top!
THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?
A contestant asked the tiny frog how the one who succeeded had found the strength to reach the goal?
It turned out...
That the winner was DEAF!!!!
The wisdom of this story is:
Never listen to other people’s tendencies to be
negative or pessimistic...
…cause they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you. The ones you have in your heart!
Always think of the power words have.
Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!
Therefore:
ALWAYS be…
POSITIVE!
And above all:
Be DEAF when people tell YOU that YOU can not fulfil YOUR dreams!
Always think:
I can do this!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Tips for Women From Police
TIPS FROM THE AMERICAN POLICE FORCE :
1.Tip from police: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2.If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your Wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet or purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3.If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4.Women have a tendency to get into their car after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their check book, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
5.A Few Notes About Getting Into Your Car In a Parking Lot, or Parking Garage:
A.Be aware: look around you; look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. (And check out under the car as you approach.)
B.If you're parked next to a big van you should enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6.ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7.If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ, RUN!
8.As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women? He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
1.Tip from police: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2.If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your Wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet or purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3.If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4.Women have a tendency to get into their car after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their check book, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
5.A Few Notes About Getting Into Your Car In a Parking Lot, or Parking Garage:
A.Be aware: look around you; look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. (And check out under the car as you approach.)
B.If you're parked next to a big van you should enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6.ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7.If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ, RUN!
8.As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women? He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby cry recorder and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they heard baby cries outside their doors ! when they're home alone at night. Please pass this on! and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby.
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on: America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.
